This will be my last blog.
Apparently my mother did find that suicide note I wrote several weeks ago (the one she allegedly couldn't read cause it went into the washing machine along with my jeans), turns out she knew all along and she's been contacting "people" that can help me. I noticed since I had been getting strangely cheery messages from friends, and I really knew when a friend of my mom's came by to talk to me last night; about "life"...
Could it be any more conspicuous?
Knowing this I see no other option but to end this blog - and my life - already. I've slept for three hours last night and spent the rest of my night finishing my suicide letters and organizing the things I want to leave behind.
To all my readers: by the time the first comment reaches my blog I will in all probability already be gone, I don't want to stick around to see whatever people have to say about this, it's my choice and it's painful enough to share it like this. So don't bother commenting or mailing me if you want to stop me, you won't reach anyone.
Mom, sis, all my friends, if you read this, I wasn't mad at any of you. And if you didn't find my notes, they are on my bed.
Please forgive me.
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83 comments:
Yawn... April Fool!
fake
Just check the link on the right side: Suicide isn't sexy.
just fkcin shoot yourself now, we dont have to hear your crap =)
hooo, i just found this blog today and the history end's today? GRRR this isn't fair!, Tania please could you live more days?.
Yeah........yeah it's totally an April Fool's Day trick.....
Id tap that shit! Dead or alive!
:(
i hope it isn't tru :S i wanted to ask her if she can film it :P i realy wanna c it :L
never saw it before and i like the way she shows the days befovere the deed..
sure hoping its a joke....
"Just check the link on the right side: Suicide isn't sexy."
-yeah, but fake internet suicide is. Plus "Digg me to Death" counter is hilariouse
fake, she still has 35 more days of bein an emotionless reck that is planning or so say acting to kill herself.
Tania, if you don't kill yourself, i will <3. You've influenced me.
"You've influenced me."
me to.
i love your sense of sarcasm. i crack up reading your entries.
I don't know if u get the chance to read this Tania but I've been following your blog and was planning to kill myself when u did, didn't think that it would happen today though.. but yeah, I guess this day is as good as any other. Bye.
Well, <3 tania, she is really cool. And i really hope the note to the right of the page is true (not suicidal intended, its just to act up against it)
So really Tania, i hope you wont do it, you seem to be a wonderfull person.
What day is it?
Oh wait, I see what u did thar.
Foetus
First Smosh now Tania... all the itnernet celebs have jokes to play... well played suicidal bitch.. well played.
April FOols See you tomorow =)
Go to http://www.mrsuicide.blogspot.com/ to read about 2 teens struggle with life and their eventual death.
This whole thing is a April's fools joke.
please dont kill yourself ='(
Listen to The Outsider from A Perfect Circle. It's a good song about suicide.
can i still hav your tits
lil strange that the topic is 35 days left -.-
noooooooooo
Just...lol, i mean honestly, what the fuck, first of all your a restarded peice of wankstain on my sofa, i mean honestly why are you so stupid "i am goona kill myself and you cant stop me" so...do it all ready, waiting 90 days for attention? no ty whore, and what the hell is with these people wanting to film you killing yourself, necrophiliacs please? you didnt kill yourself, and you dont plan to you peice of shit. stop trying to make this some kind of "publicity stunt" i mean honestly, keep it shut whore.
P.S maybe you can suicide in 90 days on world of warcraft? that would be fun, but im sure athene wouldnt be to pleased with that.
Giveadont is awesome.
coooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllll
that is cooool this world sucks
"coooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllll
that is cooool this world sucks"
And which world doesnt , u emoshitfacedparasite!L2P in life and u will enjoy it as u never did ...
Why would you kill yourself if it says 35 days left. You would have made it something like "The Day" or something.
Great April Fools Joke.
this joke is even better than the world of warcraft-console game-joke. To be honest i belived on both of them in the start. Nice one but i dont think its cool to play with the death.
Pics or it didnt happen!
so really seems to be an april fool...
so you're still around to change the 35 days into 0 days... come on sweety blog and tell us all "april april" ;)
nice april fools lol. kinda cruel though lol.
this isnt real, however to make somthing real ill kil myself just to get sum balence in this blog
I cannot believe you did it :(
will miss you Tan<3
Interesting, you supposedly killed yourself already, yet you were able to edit the day count to 0, AFTER you were supposed to be dead? How Scccccccccary!
lol this is the lamest site ive ever seen since i saw justgotowned.com
i mean really -.- LAME
Goodbye Tania,
I'll miss you.
Did you notice that the day before 0 was 36? o.O I don't believe this. Keep on struggling with your life girl!
You are righ #1, April fools :)
Hi Lady,
Do you think you may like to see your own funeral?
Seeing how people says their last good bye, how they talk about you?
I would put a good dj in mine.
Suicide song 4 today:
- George Harrison
My Sweet Lord
Sincerely Yours,
40.001 Admirer,
NoReplyBox
Old meme.
Even though this is all fake and probably an experiment to judge reactions of other people its pretty bad due to the fact that some people ARE taking this seriously and will get sucked into what you are doing and will in all likely hood sympathise with you and possibly JOIN you in what you are doing, so you will be responsible for young, impressionable people either taking THEIR own lives or harming themsleves in some way. Not good.
About this being "fake" (not more "fake" then a movie with a big "the is a fictional store") - just read what it says on the page. It say loud and clear that:
"This website is an anti-'suicide culture' campaign aimed at a disturbing internet trend that is currently gaining momentum: blogging about committing suicide"
The text goes on explaining it's purpose.
(It's incredible how many people doesn't even read the site - before going on calling it a "fake".)
--
On topic: I found the page on the 1st of April and couldn't stop reading. I look forward to the rest of the blog - and please, please don't let this be the last post.
Thanks.
The mentioning that this whole blog is a fake is not made clear. You need to understand there will be many young people reading this who will not be aware of this and will take this as real. That is in itself highly irresponsible. The page I was viewing did not state the following and is NOT "loud and clear."
"This website is an anti-'suicide culture' campaign aimed at a disturbing internet trend that is currently gaining momentum: blogging about committing suicide"
This blog merely fuels the fire.
Re: Anonymous
It stands in the flash-object "suicide.swf"/"Suicide isn't sexy." in the right side.
You can also find it here:
http://tania.movielol.org/images/suicide.swf
(you have to click to see it)
The disclaimer is enough - no need to destroy a story by putting anymore then that. I don't like movies or books that begins with a big message about the story being fictional.
And even if this was real I would still read it about the same way - and it would maybe even move me more as well as a good movie or book i rare cases can.
So I now just hope that this "35 days left..."/"0 days left..."-post isn't the last. That would be sad.
Ha! lol so full of shit! You were NEVER going to do it. you dont have what it takes to do it. you need to get a life and stop being such a psychotic tease.
Hey Tania!
I have a GREAT idea for you. Find a friend who really understands you, and respects your wish to die... someone who you really trust... Have them FILM your death. Then your friend can post it on your blog... It would show everyone that you meant it and you carried it out. If this is for real, and these are your wishes, then keep this commitment to your blog until the end. Prove to everyone your pain, your suffering. If this IS true, then prove it. You can't just end your blog with people wondering, people laughing at you because they think you are full of shit. I KNOW you don't care what people think... but I know you made a commitment to this blog, and to yourself. I honestly don't think you should kill yourself, so I am by no way encouraging you. I'm just analyzing what is in front of me. MANY people say you are full of it. There is a link ... suicide isn't sexy right on your page, leading others, including myself, to believe this is an attempt to stop others from ending their lives. HOWEVER, if you are REAL, if the off chance you are going through with this, I think you would get satisfaction by showing everyone that they were wrong about you, including myself. Doing so could really help others... People who have considered ending their lives who have been following your blog... may not. Just by experiencing the end of your life. You could help others. And if you are seriously true about this, maybe this was your purpose. To help others find strength through your death. I believe that everyone has a purpose in life. You have so many followers of your blog... That would be the way to go out. Knowing that you have proved everyone wrong, showing your pain and suffering, and helping others. I've had others doubt me and I wanted nothing more than to prove them WRONG. Filming your death would be the perfect opportunity to have an impact... Think of the power you would have. We all have had ups and downs in our life. I myself had wished to die because of my illness, but I don't want to leave my family, my friends in pain. Some people just don't want to deal with life because LIFE IS HARD! Maybe your purpose is to help others, and prove that such pain and suffering exists, and some things cannot be fixed. Find someone you trust..FILM IT! Good luck to you...
What kind of people comes on here trying to bait her on to kill herself? You realize you're only acting like that because you have a really horrible life and feel worthless inside.
How do I know that? Because happy people don't wish death on others.
Tania, everytime you smile in the Ipower clips it makes me happy. It's a little childish having a crush on someone you've never met but I do. For the first time in maybe ten years. it's a nice felling. You are lovely, don't ever change.
is she dead for real, or she just likes the attention?
I really hope that she's just having a busy day and will be back soon.
A April Fool's isn't funny on the 2nd of April.
Wait what? This is real? >.>
I mean, its 2th of April
na its not true...
check "Suicide isn't sexy"
April foolsZZZZ~~!#
fapfapfap
Hey!It is a really nice story! I'm really happy that finally you killed yourself, but I'm sorry that you couldn't live your last 35 days! I am following your posts for about a month. I find it ingenious and a great imagination. And maybe you can write us how it is there, after we die. Well...Bye! ;)
LOL did you guys believe it? its 1/04 do you know what day is it?
KILL YOURSELF ALREADY WE WANT TO SEE NUDE PICS LOL
[quote] Anonymous said...
Pics or it didnt happen!
April 2, 2008 2:43 AM
[/quote]
QFT
SPOILER:
She has a penis.
She either stopped because a lot of peoples negativity got to her, and maybe she started to agree with some of the hateful opinions..
OR....
THIS WAS THE BIGGEST SET UP IN THE HISTORY OF APRIL FOOLS!!!
HA HA!!! All you motherfuckers are lame for still posting.. HA HA!!!
i Feel so sad for you, still typing to resurrect TANIA :O)
She won't be coming back...
Dear Tania,
Whether your blog is an April Fools Day joke or not, I felt like leaving you this message.
Today was the first day I started to read your blog. No I didn't read every single one, didn't have time, but I read a good share of it. When I read your first few messages I thought you were really cool. I could tell you had really emotions and weren't afraid to express them. You seemed like someone who just wanted out.
As I got farther along in your blogs my thoughts toward you started to shift. You seemed to feel pity for your self which didn't seem all that right. You have a right to feel bad for yourself but not if your going to go tell everyone on the internet to try to make them feel bad for you too. When someone told you some valuable information you said they were a loser. I found this a little harsh. I didn't expect you to change your mind but you didn't have to go that far. It made sense to me. On one of your blogs you said 'I'm the victim here!' when speaking of your life. Honestly, doesn't that sound like a call for attention and pity? Plus I am absolutely certain that what you said was horribly wrong. There are people with way worse lives than yours not planning to commit suicide. Don't be to arrogant to see your not the only one. I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I read this.
I am most definitely not trying to change your decision. I think you have a right over what you do with your life, as long as it doesn't harm others. So if that is what you thought, I'm telling you now I only wanted you to know that I thought some of the things you said were wrong.
Well I hope this doesn't sound to harsh or mean, I just needed to state my opinion. I hope it was a joke, and you will get a chance to read this.
April Fools... Perfect timing, Tania...
But still, if you are thinking of it, don't. You think life is over for you, but you truly don't appreciate it. Come on, you really think your life sucks? Go outside, go to Disney or something.
I mean come on, that's the WORST solution to everything. Just because your feeling sad you want to kill yourself? COME ON!
Yeah, you ALMOST had me. Almost. Unless it's true, then we all look like dicks.
Actually too late to comment
But let me tell you, I felt you're too much FREE, you have no objective in your life, and that’s why your mind only restricted to this ideas, I know what you're doing now is something a little bit interesting, it has kind of truth, the life that you're living it in there, but, I really need to show you something more interesting, something would change your life truly even, discovering God !, it is not what you might thought now, it is different, I'm not so much good in English, but, as long as you give this try a 90 days of your life, give the other try more days seriously and see, please visit
http://islamtomorrow.com .
Women of Paradise!.
she's coming back to finish this after her vacation, rite? i meen, it's still a salvageable project, ok.. so you did not succeed at first (statistically proven), but you'll come back from the hospital to find out no one in your fam has discovered your secret little window into the world, and you will come back and continue to SAVE LIVES of the many people you made that commitment to, until your (original) dying day.. but for now you need a break.. i totally understand!!! suicidal tendencies can take their toll, and besides, you are probably being watched closely by hospital staff for the next few weeks.
meanwhile- share prices plummet as stakeholders in " tiaIP" stock cringe!
She is making a parody of the emoculture... This girl is funny=) And Hot!
Seriously, the blog was an "interactive" type project that was being influenced daily by our comments. Tania basixally kept her foot on the gas until the majority influentially steered her into the direction of ending it all -too soon, IMO.
I blame all you haters for shutting her down. If I see ANY of you at the next iPower meeting, it will be with my shank..
Oh my god! Something died today!
My interest in this blog.
Original though :)
The whole experiment was predestined to implode, eventually! It's just too taboo a subject for many to handle, emotionally, being far too exploratory under these conditions. Then you got those that hated it so much, they'd rather see her actually do it. There really was no sense in stringing it along for another month. The heat just seemed to be coming from every direction, you know? She couldn't have picked a better time to end it, safely, abruptly, and without any further detriment. That is just too bad because it seemed to be a very inspired topic for her to blog about in the beginning...
what an incredible letdown, i'm furious btw.
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
you're 2 sexy 4 suicide :P
I Don't get it
Send us some blogs from the afterlife and tell us how it is =)
you're an attention whore
btw weren't you the bitch who said that she would give out blowjobs to the people who voted for her?
like from netherlands or something
look what you people did! she's really dead now :(
you are all SICK!!!
Well either Shes still alive or someone else is changing things the video just changed itself
shoulda killed urself
heh i was actualy quite woried for her until i saw the suicide isn't sexy thing.. now i can sleep easy doubt anyone of real importance will read this but anyway i'm glad it's fake.
lol shes not going to kill herself click the suicide isn't sexy link thank god i really got sucked in for awhile i was like well damn life can be bad but don't kill yourself
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