I think I reached a pretty important question today.
I say "question" and not "answer" because it will probably take me a few more days to come up with one, but the question in itself is already something I hadn't thought of asking myself before. Being suicidal, everything seems to revolve around aspects of life which promote your suicidal tendencies or your general depression; like you'll start to stress the bad things in life, you'll start feeling sorry for yourself over trivial matters, you'll start hating yourself and others for no reason, etc.
But all that is besides the point.
Today I stopped and asked myself for a moment: what is it that I want? After all this, and seeing what I'm planning to do in roughly two weeks, I haven't really reflected on this in a while and kind of lost sight of it. What is it exactly that I actually want and how am I hoping to get it?
Now again I don't want to give readers false hope, I'm nowhere near changing my mind, but I'd like for others to answer this question for themselves too.
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46 comments:
There are many things people want... Love, money, happiness. The feeling of being alone. If your family was religious, you might wish to die to find out if the thoughts that heaven exists were real. Maybe your like the suicidal cliche and want to die because life is too hard with you. Maybe you want attention... All I truly want in life is knowledge. Knowing what you want allows you to try to obtain what you want. I suppose, if you don't know what you want in life, you have nothing to live for.
Let me allow you the pleasure of sucking my dick. i will use flavorued condoms if u like but im sure u will like the natural taste. Please dont be so selfish and kill yourself without letting those fine perky breasts run free in the wind and my face.
Yours sincerly- Lord of pimps jack repping the hood
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I sincerely agree with the wise man above, I too would thoroughly enjoy caressing your baps.
With love,
Ol' Tom
Repping the hood d-(^_-)z
www.lemonparty.com to see more of my views on the matter.
By the way nerd-rage feeds the hoods epeen.
-Lord jack king of pimps and master of hoes.
I feel like you are suffereing from immense www.oldonboy.com depression and think that going to www.2girls1cup.com a therapist would help.
King of da cheese muffins.
Ps to buy the worlds finest pens go to www.penisland.com
WELL DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was a great post today, totally getting to the point. Apart from the sad vigin fucks who post stupid remarks on these blogs, ur msg could really cause reflection in suicidal ppl, which is the point to all this.
Good job.
beautiful.
not spam
you're beautiful
now to the spam:
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You'll need more time to get the answers to ALL your questions pretty lady. Like all men, I think God did a good job making you. ....But, GOD, also gave you life. You certainly don't want to die before you figure out...WHY?
Were you supposed to save your sister from her death at her 16th birthday party? PLEASE, rent or buy "It's a wonderful life", one night before you leave us. As your brother here on this rock, I'm TELLING you..Don't leave, the life you save..might "NOT" be your own. Get over yourself Tania. I was wrong in an earlier email. You don't need to go see babies in a hospital. You need to go to a veterans ambulatory hospital for a day. Count your blessings Tania. If you were in their condition I could see suicide as an out of all the PaIn. How many times have I thought , gee, I could sit in my car with the radio blasting and go out in a dream...
I could also stop crying over silly shit that don't mean a thing and go help someone who isnt in as good a shape as I am. You want to kill yourself? I think your selfish. It could be your mothers, or your best friends life that you may be destined to save. It's said in some cultures that we choose our parents, and some high points of our lives. If you feel your destiny is to "off" your lucky assed self, well, then the world would be short one less selfish inconsiderate person. If you wake up in the next two weeks and realize your self worth, and the things you can accomplish with your sister, that she can't do alone. Things your mother won't be able to do in a couple years..you might have a chance. Personally It looks to me like you've got plenty of attention. It'll probably be 30/70 for you. Thats right, 30 percent reading will say good for you,do it. and not know why or care. The other 70 percent will be glad you changed your mind. You know. We all go through phases in our life where we think of doing something like your contemplating. Time, or change in circumstances usually change our train of thought. If you were really serious about getting your answers, and even doing yourself in, consider "{giving yourself}" a little more time to see what happens ..if'..you wait a little longer. 90 days? 3 short months? I would re-assess the situation if I were you. DO You think the pervs in this world won't say the same nasty stuff to you little sister? wake up. Save HER from the scum of the earth, be selfless for 90 days before giving yourself 90 days. Or hey, don't give your little sister some xtra time. They (your family and friends)might not hurt so bad to think you almost did, but gave it all another try, before counting down again. I know I'd think better of you. But don't worry about me. I love you dead or alive. It's your Sister I'm thinking about. This isnt the last time you'll hear from me. A messenger.
you know you should do a good deed and fuck every lonely guy you see before you die. A warm pussy is a bad thing to waste.
"I feel life has no greater purpose. We have no great war in our generation, no great depression, our great war is a war of the spirit, and our great depression is our lives."
My life is a depression too, but you can change that, if you make a porn movie for me. Than i will have a reason to wake up all mornings, and this reason will be you. Can you help me please?
On the last day
when you are determined to kill yourself,
you should at least take a Russian roulette approach to it. If you must, load 5 of 6 chambers but leave that one chamber empty. I fully understand asking you not to kill yourself is utterly futile at this point but it seems like it wouldn't be too irrational to ask that you take this approach. If you just so happen to pull the trigger and find that you're still alive and thinking with the other 5 chambers filled with life enders, you must see how it's just not your time to go.
Feel free to talk to me by the way you seem like a pretty interesting person.
u should first to make a porn clip with some horses before to die
i love you :(..i dont know you but i do :( i can only hope for the best..theres nothing i can do to change your mind except let you know your loved..by me anyway..
So, when you kill yourself, What if everything about God is true, You have no proof of him not being true. What If their is a hell, and a heaven and you kill yourself and find yourself in hell for eternity. Think of the worst pain you can possibly imagine, thats hell.
Do you really want to test it?
I understand the "no reason to live, no feeling or purpose."
But how much do you not know?
Totally fake read the side of the blog click on Suicide isn't sexy " This website is an anti-sucide culture campaign aimed at a distrubting internet trend that is currently gaining momentum blogging about comitting sucide"
omfg you cant die your a PRO! well suicide is for noob in my opignion:) and i cant tell to my children that ATHENE bitch suicide .. nah i cant do that..
Youre a pro or your a noob, thats life
I'm kind of torn with the thought of posting this. I don't know if your intentions are real or not, but suicide isn't something to joke about, so I'm posting anyway.
I just can't figure out your reasoning for publishing a blog like this. I can't help but question your motives.
Were you depressed one day and decided you would commit suicide in 90 days? I wonder if that was the case, and whether or not since you now have a fan-base, so to speak, if you feel obligated to carry out the original purpose of your blog.
I also wonder if you are just so lonely and depressed that you feel like you need attention. Let me tell you girl, you don't need the attention these perverts are posting on your site. (I was/am shocked/disgusted by the majority of the comments). You need serious psychological help.
I was completely suicidal last Wednesday night. I had found out that I may not be graduating from college this June, as I had somehow missed a general education synthesis class. I really thought it was the end of the world. All of those years trudging through school, tutor after tutor. . . . it hasn't been easy.
I decided to wait and talk to some professors at school about my problem, and one found a class that would fulfill my graduation requirement and that had one open seat. The problem was, that it was week three of the quarter, and the add/drop period for classes ended the sixth day of the quarter.
My professor called the professor with the open seat, and asked him to let me into the class. I visited him during his office hours later that day, and he said it was no problem! I felt so much better, and I'm graduating, finally! I just bought my cap and gown this morning.
I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to go through with this, no matter what anyone says.
Tomorrow is another day. Try to start looking at the positive things in life!
Good Luck!
Did u consider the fact u might actually be " glamourising " scuide...
The life is urs up to u how u go about living it but i dnt agree with the fact that you need to
"boast" about it i didnt even mean to find this site it was sent to me by email now what happens if this was sent to a 12 - 15 yr old who is having probs in school or has split up with bf/gf or even a slight argument with his/her parents kids get affected by these little things and these sortes of sites wont help the case....
anyway i got an exam today and a life to live hope rethink about ur life and do something with it ( not waste it)
neways im out peace
i got everything i want and much has come and gone but so much is still here with the added now..i dont want the extra i have and i cant do anything about this because it is impossible to loose or give away..
DO IT!
When you do it (if you do it), let me know what's up there, yeah? There are a lot of mysteries in life and death, and knowing one of them would do me a great deed.
If you don't do it, settle with the fact that you have spared intolerable grief to your friends, family and everyone who knows you. Most of us (Those of us with a brain) want you here babe, if you were to live through suicide, I can guarantee it changes your life. I tried suicide once, I attempted to hang myself and came inches between life and death. All I remember is seeing a light and then waking up in a hospital bed, riddled with tubes. I had been out for nearly two weeks. I never understood how much my family really loved me, there were flowers and cards everywhere in my room and so many visitors a day it was insane. You never know what they mean to you, and what you mean to them until you are gone.
If you do the deed, you will cause your family and loved ones intolerable grief. Think about what I said, and keep in touch.
DO IT FAGGOT
i think everybody in this world is here for a reson. But not everbody knows the reason. i hope you know your reason to STAY here tania...´cause i think the world won´t be the same when you are gone. i don´t say: DON´T DO IT...
i say: will the world, you´ll enter be better? what if it´s even worse than here?...
do what you want to do...free your mind.
Dying is so very easy, but a step forward of only a moments thought; yet profound enough of an event to merit a little hiccup in life's vibrant density of colour.
Living on the other hand is an event worthy of a lifetimes laughter, a time to grow as an individual human being, a time to grow mentally and physically, encouraged,
dammed, uplifted, trodden down, and carried forever forward by life's humourus winds of change.
The answer lies within?
You are the beginning and the end of all that you are, you are the hushed voice within heard only by you. The secret of life, of living; is to learn to convey that voice to another-
-through love, friendship, drama, laughter, engagement with life and all it's wonderful wonders.
Life through your eyes, is your perception steered by your own bias - that which has made
and effected you up till now.
You are an entity unto yourself, and yet you are what you surround yourself with.
You are the people that surround you, the close ones, the friends, the hello's -
-quick smiles and waves of your hand, you are the chows and kisses of so long and hi!
You are the future of you, and all that can be.
You are the tide that ebbs and flows, yet desires to be still enough to make sense of it all.
you are the natural movement of life in all it's wonder, you are human.
James.
I think most of us have thought of ending it all, I know I have when it seems like there is no way out of a problem. I am pretty certain that I will end it if my quality of life becomes worse due to old age and I don't die naturally.
But while I still get some pleasure its worth sticking around - why?
just because this one life we are living is the only chance we get. Might as well make the most of it. the earth has been around for 5 billion years and we were only born now. It will be around for another 10 billion years without us.
We have this one tiny slice of time, a few paltry years to experience all the beauty, all the pleasures, all the joy and the love we humans are capable of. And we don't get another chance. death cloaks us in a coffin of nothingness for all the rest of time. Rodxxxx
I don't believe this is the real deal, but I'm gonna leave my opinion anyway.the reason I say that this page isn't real, is that I don't think suicidal people have that much insight and I don't think they ask other peoples opinions on the matter! I think they are driven by hopelessness and they just do it.if you need to put out a blog here, your not suicidal. If you want to die, just do it. just kill yourself, who cares. you're just desperate for attention anyway, and this is the ultimate ego-trip. lame bitch. You won't have my attention when you kill yourself, and I wont tip anyone of this page. nobody should. I feel like a loser just to have visited this page. but I feel sorry for your family, if this is true stuff. probably this is just some stupid social-study. well, It's lame and irresponsible anyway. do you ever consider your impact on other people, you stupid person? especially young people? maybe its best that you die, people like you are not needed on this earth. so now you've had my opinion and attention for a few seconds. as long as it makes people think about how stupid and pathetic it is to do something like this. well,well.run along and think depressive thoughts, now:) hurry up.
Hey Tania. I'm actually not sure what to comment really. There are the comments that mean something, negative comments, comments on your side, assholes that really prove the world doesn't care...hell there are even comments that start out like this one. Anyways, I can't say I know how you feel. That'd be an utter lie. I'm not sure if any two people can feel the exact same thing. But I do know that when I was going to attempt to commit suicide, I lied to myself and said I wasn't ready. But whenever I see you picture, I look into your eyes and see a certainty. Then I could finally say to myself, "I don't have the balls to commit suicide." I mean it's not the easiest thing to do unless you feel it. Unusally it seems like I'm mocking someone. Not even sure if I'm mocking you, though if I am it's not my intention. Just thought I'd comment cause I read your blogs and just thought I'd finally comment the interesting person writing them. No real opinion on the suicide thing I guess. Except I will miss them if you do go. Of course I am hoping for the small chance of a reply. Even if it's just a "Hello" or "Thanks for commenting your opinions" etc. I'll comment again though. Just because.
the guy who posted before m.r. is a dick
I'm 90% certain, that this is a trap. In the end, u'll say, haha, I got ya. There's no way you have the courage, and you won't do it even if you do. Somebody, who has everything in life, like yourself, won't back out. If those miserable beings in some very poor countries survive and work all their life, you don't have the right to do this.
you are the perfect proof that god doesn't exist, tell it to everybody.
I want to tell you that the aim of the life is the life !
Absolutely not to know who you are and blablabla ... and all shit like any religions pfff...
the human race take place in our immense universe, full of stars and other beauties. We've got a chance and only one to see what is the life in this universe, because the human race have this chance to evolved...
THIS is the life ----> a chance to live...
you won't do it. you'll chicken out, just like everyone else does.
...and if you manage to do it, haha. good luck in your afterlife.
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Tania, sorry ..
I'm loving with you, cos the day pass so long and I sorry with you
Tania, so sorry
For looking you wake up in a sunny morning, and say good morning
Take the coffe for you, and loving with you
Tania, so sorry
For love you, cos the day pass so long, and I here saying in another world for you
Tania, So Sorry.
Please consider this. I don't think you should do this. Depression and having suicidal thoughts is normal. and you do have a purpose in life, everyone does. Me and so many other people will miss you if you leave like that.
Dear Tania,
Today I am telling you to gaze at photographs of new born babies.
By fixing your sight on them, you will see hope and delight. By dint of love they entered this world, they are growing and welcome life. They just simply cry abd laugh for their primitive state is to require love. God, in eternity created us and after this life our soul returns to His glory.
I befriend those do not have any religious belief, which they are, no one can deny, creatures of God. Certainly you, Tania, is not excluded. I found that those without religion see things in pure material notion, however it enriches my thoughts and reminds me what I cannot see under the enlightenment of Catholicism. I also include them in my ardent prayer so that even God has not chosen them into any beliefs, I can persuade God [Yes, many non-Catholics can also attain eternal life if they live pursuant to their conscience] to shorten their Purgatory time and even go straight to Heaven.
Everything has its reason and value of existence. Every human being [individual] is a reflection of teeny part of the Almighty One. Our fingerprint is an invincible proof.
It is very miraculous that God creatured each of our body so perfevtly. We need no pree ourselves a botton like controlling a robot or a computer to breathe and sustain pulsation of heart. Yet even we are so perfect, we are always wanting to improve ourselves, both moral, intellectual or physical, ID EST our conduct, our knowledge and our health. Life, is only once, it is worthwhile to cherish. Even, Buddhists who believe in Reincarnation advocate us to be vegetarian, not to kill any animals. We can draw a conclusion that life is precious.
Go to the hospital, and walk around, especially notice those dying patient, how many of them struggle to survive until the last moment? How many,even in great pain, endeavour to smile and pretend as usual when their family members come, so as to enjoy their family gathering, even it is so short ?
Yesterday, our older generation have no lift, no escalator, lack of vehicle, but they struggle to live and IMPROVE THE ENVIRONMENT, that is why today we have less inconvinience.
Jesus Christ, no matter we jeer at Him or rebuff His sincerity, He determined to be crucified, in order to let us whosoever want salvation, can receive. He respected our own choice, but, as our Creator and Saviour, unconditionally to give Himself.
In Canada, there buried a Hong Kong filmstar named Lydia Sum, to commemorate her, 1st June was ordained as "Fat Fat Day". "Fat Fat" is the souybriquet of Lydia Sum. In her 40-years, although suffered from diabetes, she still insist to give birth her daughter yan-yi. And, even when she underwent operation, she still presented at her friend's party [without dining] and answered her friends she only had a body check the next day. One most touching thing is, some time (within a week) before her death, she still telephoned herfriend just had undergone a cerebal operation. While she passed away,she knew many people would cry for her so she just put a quota to the number who attended her funeral in a private graveyard in Canada, not allowing the news reporters to violate. And in her will she enjoined a commemoration in Hong Kong. The seats are full, even there are audience standing outside the memorial hall to watch the transmittion. Her memorial was telecasted to all Chinese channel throughout the world. In her memorial, everybody's eyes contain tears.
You can find information about Lydia Sum.
Life is precious.
Tania, I do not try to make you tired to read, but you see, you get friends all over the world, everyone concerns you.
Many of them will still remain contact with you in the rest of your life, until we become old.
Your Catholic friend.
just fucking kill yourself already you attention whore
-Tania-
my name is thomas. i saw ur page on youtube. i aint going to tell you what you should do because im not you. but i will tell you about me and what i went through and maybe we can compare. i was born in wyndotte county, kansas city, ks ,usa(google the city). it is the murder capital of the midwest region of usa. grew up with out knowing my father. after my brother was born in 1997 i was shot in a drive by at a young age. at the age of nine my grandfather which was my only father figure growing up died. a few weeks later i attempted stabbing myself with a screwdriver in my chest and almost succeeded.. after that incedent i was put into a psyc ward for three months. soon after my family moved way from that city. we moved to a town in missori. from the age of nine until twelve i lived in houses without water, electricity and heat. my mother was using and producing a drug called methaphetamine. me and my little brother had nothing to eat ecept what we stole and we had to cook that on a camping kerosene heater. a few months before my 13th birthday me and my brother was taken from our family and put into states custody. i lived with my brother for a few months and then i was sent into a youth facility( also known as you jail) for protecting my brother after he was told by one of our foster brothers he was going to kill him. for almost four years i was kept away like a killer. i got to see my family once a month for a hour. so for them four years i saw my family 12 hours a year. within that time i tryed to commit suicide two more times. when they finally put me back into a foster home i ran. i was gone for about a month until the told my family if they found out they were a part of me running then they would never see us again. so i turned my self in. a few months later i was released out of the states custody because i was of age and they thought i was going to fuck up and get imprisioned. but through all of that i learned that no pain or any person is worth my life. ur are beautiful and very well spoken through the videos i saw. i beleive that being able to die is a privliage we need to earn. because of all the storys of close people i know that have died and came back they said it is the most relaxing wonderful feeling and the said it is like ur really high but awake. u feel no pain what so ever. and i know all these people say before u go suck my dick and all that stupid crap. dont listen to them they are ignorant. like i said u are beautiful and smart and any man that ever gets a chance to be with a girl like u better make it last because there arent many girls id put in that catergory. and i dont know u, but i can sense things like that! if u want to talk. my email is bigtmusic24@yahoo.com if that one dont work my other is tommywilliams1991@hotmail.com
much love,
Thomas
thomas lame way trying to pull her.......
OMG tania if ur dying in 14days when will you sleep with half the virgins in north america??!?!?
WAAA i wont get to tap that
You cant go now. You still have to take my virginity?
Why would a bitch waste her time posting on the Internet when she claimed to "not care about other people's feelings or opinions on this matter"? We all should do something nice for her. Who can find out her address, phone number and post it here? We should all go pay her a visit. All of us. We can take turns fucking all of her tight holes.
C'mon, guys. She's going to kill herself. She doesn't care what happens to her anymore. Let us make the best of her body with gangbang, throatfuck, titty-fuck, anal fuck, pussy fuck, armpit fuck, all kinds of fuck on her. Doesn't matter if she doesn't enjoy it. As long as we do.
Anyone out there that lives near enough to her, find out her address, contact and ID information and post it here. So that we can go see her and make her final days unforgettable and gratifying (to us).
What the fuck your retarded, your hot hot people arent supposed to commit suicide.
...
Although this is a weak hoax anyway. Come time you won't have the balls.
A Fake , this fucked up b*tch and her demented boy friends are pulling the worlds leg?!. I saw the "Suicide isnt pretty" but didn't realize it was a button to be pushed. You brain dead fuks may have caused others to actually DO THIS!~ i will never watch another video you morally and ethically inept screwed up people make. The last time you'll hear from me.
A fake blog?..aimed at saving lives?...looks to me like it could BACKFIRE and encourage people who are thinking of doing the same thing! More gray matter should have been used before starting this blog. And the "suicide isnt sexy link needs to "LOOK" like a button that should be pushed at some point. I would have never found it if not for a previous posting. We were bound to track the girl down. How else might your joke go astray?
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