They say suicide is painless.
Well yes, maybe it is, but the 90 days leading up to it sure aren't. It's not easy to be able to ignore the feelings of the people around you and hurt your loved ones so tremendously because you want to abandon life. Because you've lost hope in the future.
But tomorrow will be a big day for me. My last big day before the end.
To all my readers, I have decided to share something important with you and I will do so tomorrow, it's about my decision and about my blog in general. I know what you're thinking, but I can say that it's something you won't expect. You may think you've predicted it already, but it's nothing like that. Nothing that simple.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
4 days left...
So how do I want to be remembered? What is it that I want to leave behind to my readers, to my world?
I guess now is the time to pass on whatever I have to pass on. First off I would want this world to continue evolving into a more positive place, a place where people stand up for what they believe in rather than undergo life submissively. A place where human beings are free and open-minded, and actively working on their community.
Before I die I would like to call on everyone here to make a stand for what they believe in. Be the person you want to be and don't give up like I did.
Go out today and do something that you can be proud of.
For me.
I guess now is the time to pass on whatever I have to pass on. First off I would want this world to continue evolving into a more positive place, a place where people stand up for what they believe in rather than undergo life submissively. A place where human beings are free and open-minded, and actively working on their community.
Before I die I would like to call on everyone here to make a stand for what they believe in. Be the person you want to be and don't give up like I did.
Go out today and do something that you can be proud of.
For me.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
5 days left...
So I guess this is what it feels like.
Being on death row. Having less than a week to live. 4 more days after this and I'll be dead. You all are witnessing my final days, my final thoughts. Disappointing as it may be, they aren't anything special or interesting, they are simply my last. No more, no less.
People don't change when they're about to die. They just grow nervous and scared. They feel alone. At least I do. I've written and rewritten my suicide notes countless times, I've cut off my phone lines and locked my door, all I have to connect me to the outside world is my internet cable, and this very blog.
I feel like the last spark of a bonfire, flickering just a tiny bit longer before going out completely.
I'll flicker for 4 more days.
Being on death row. Having less than a week to live. 4 more days after this and I'll be dead. You all are witnessing my final days, my final thoughts. Disappointing as it may be, they aren't anything special or interesting, they are simply my last. No more, no less.
People don't change when they're about to die. They just grow nervous and scared. They feel alone. At least I do. I've written and rewritten my suicide notes countless times, I've cut off my phone lines and locked my door, all I have to connect me to the outside world is my internet cable, and this very blog.
I feel like the last spark of a bonfire, flickering just a tiny bit longer before going out completely.
I'll flicker for 4 more days.
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