Sorry for not updating guys, I was totally beat yesterday, went shopping with my mom. I'll blog about it later, I still have time.
Anyway. I got another really interesting e-mail today, though I'm not sure if interesting is the correct word to use here; it's just one of those messages that really gripped me, so I felt obliged to throw it on my blog:
"Two years ago my teenage sister committed suicide. She took an overdose of medication and left behind three suicide notes, one for me, one for her friends and one for our mom.
The letters themselves were full of hatred and despise, not unlike many of your blog entries, in fact that's why I mailed you, because i recognize your thinking in her writing. But the issue I wanted to bring to your attention is not how her thinking was similar to yours, but more importantly what her final thoughts were.
I found my sister on her bed a short while after she had taken the OD, and she was still conscious at the time, though heavily sedated. I didn't know what was wrong at first and I tried to get her fully conscious again, but she just kept drifting further away.
And the last thing she managed to say to me was "I don't wanna die."
She realized what she had, and she realized what she was destroying the very last second of her life, when it was already too late. This event forever marked me, my mother and all of my sister's friends, of which some are in therapy STILL because they blame themselves.
So I guess my point is please reconsider what you're doing. Cause I know you feel the same way, somewhere deep inside.
Please."
I'm not planning to reconsider. Not at this point. But your e-mail still touched me, and I thought it was something I just had to show to the world.
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56 comments:
Your determinacy to die despite all the so-called arguments brought against suicide and all the e-mails from those who don't understand you is an inspiration to me: I've followed you from the start and now you've convinced me, I'll kill myself on the same day as you, so if there is something after this all, maybe we will not be alone to live it.
Thanks for showing me what is the only rational way to live: dying.
Foetus
The way you reconsider, but don't want to admit it. could help many people.
I`ve been reading your blogs since day 83 or something like that. that is not the point. okay so there is a couple things I feel I should say. First of all I bet a friend 10$ that you were seriously going to kill yourself. That doesn't mean I want you to though. The argument that my friend has is that you have no motivation. All you have is a promise to yourself really. All you see for side effects is that you`ll hurt your loved ones. To be honest I dont think your going to do it anymore, I think you have already decided that in your head. but there is one thing about your blog today that caught my eye, and that is that the suicide letters that the persons sister left were filled with hate and despise. the sister blamed her loved ones. didn`t you say at some point of time that you do NOT blame your family, and that its just something you wanted and needed to do. if you link them to this site it will be obvious that you care very much for them.
but I do not think you should do it and I do not think you will do it. its all your choice though. ohh and its 4:44am where I am right now so I`m sorry if I didn`t make sense.
I spent most of my life in emerging countries and it is difficult for me to understand why young people want to die.
I met so many who would have liked to have the choice.
Hope you'll change your mind, you have so much for yourself. If this happens to my daughter, I hope I will be here to help her.
Yes it will be ...trust God...but it wont be good for you both..it may be a preanc or not ...but ....luck at u guys who are posting and u TANIA...the world is full of crazy minds...but consider this if u belive there is something affter death..Well lots of ppl consider there is ...and in you case ..THERE WILL BE SOMETHING after u comited suicide ..Let me tell a couple o thing that will be from my information ..u will never turn to have or hell...u will be nowhere...it` will be worst from hell..your spirit will not will be lost...that means y`l no longer exist (if u belive in after life) u`l never BE..i don`t care how much of this is getting to you...but form my side i`ve done my part ..Best of Wishes...
doooooooonnnnnnnntttttt
and be4 u die can we see u naked lol
Seriously DON'T do it. I know this may sound wierd as it sounds evangelistic, but you WILL regret it. If you are christian, you should know that your suicidal thoughts are the devil's doing, and you will spend the rest of your time in hell, or 'eternal death'. I hope you will reconsider, and that you will probably go seek a pastor's help. Anyways, just don't do it. Unless you want to experience eternal death.
YOU FUCKING morons Tania's IS saving life's from this Blog if you want to post your shitty comments then learn to read and Click on the buttons in the blog..Click at the Hidden Button " suicide is not Sexy" and read what Tania wants to say!!
Go ahead Beauty and keep your work this world need people like you!
even some of those hot tempered guys and girl's don't have an idea about anything in life..Also to those saying about Tania's Blow Jobs, you must know that also this was a satirical act with a hidden point in it...go and suck an egg,if you don't have the power to see behind the lines, then YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRITISISE
i love you Tania And Your Ideas , i wish i could meet you and shake your hand..i lost my sister 5 years ago from this reason...and i know that these kind of people needs ADVISE and not nasty words,we must not abandon then they need our love and our guidance, Even if we save 1 life its like the biggest achievement in the world..
Peace out George!! ( from the always sunny Greece )
PS. thanks again Tania and i wish i could be able to Join Ipower in real life and not from the usual E-press-mails-etc..i wish you best luck you and your team
I don't really think anyone would care about Virgin Media destroing internet if she/he would kill her/himself in 16 days.
HI Tania. Ive just started to read ur blog and could say ur a good blogger.
Though i dont believe in the suicide thing u'll be doing in the next few days. This because u dont a have a full proof motive, For me u r a person full of life, independent attractive, intelligent.Therefore its not 4 u to decide twhen u should end with ur life.
First n foremost ur life is not belonged by u. There r too many external factors u should consider b4 getting to it.
However if ur determination is strong u'll definitely do it. Try to explain more about ur real motive end it up. Well i think if u had to end ur life it would have been on day 90 and not vice versa. The show u r making will give u much fame and curse coz, other fucked person will follow ur philossophy.
If u discorver the real meaning of life then u'll enjoy it n not fell like it sucks everyday. DO wat u like n not things that will annoy u.
well thats all i wanna comment today. bye berton
hello...i'm not good in english... i just wanna to say that u must know who make u? u must learn islam, n ur live will much2 better... Allah will help u if u want the truth... study islam 1st...plz
hello...i'm not good in english... i just wanna to say that u must know who make u? u must learn islam, n ur live will much2 better... Allah will help u if u want the truth... study islam 1st...plz
I'd rather not post as anonymous but what the fuck, you are nothing but an attention seeking bastard, if you can't go through with it then I'll be only to glad to help but if you can then all the better, the sooner the better.
THIS IS A LOAD OF BOLLOX
shame on you. not the actor. you. you scumbag.
This is all a bulsht way to get a little fame, i kind of think its disgusting and sick. people who are think this will happen are dumber than the person who came up with this sick plan.
Tania, Im not certain how you feel, Therefore i cant determine if we are feeling the same, So many times in my life have i considerd this, And yet i came to the conculsion what put the haters out of their misery, And i know that things are going to straighten their selfs out in the end. But. What can i say? I must have read hundreds of replys and comments all saying the same things, "Dont kill yourself", "Do kill yourself" I say, Do what you feel best suited. Just dont regret your decision.
What is sad is that there are people who are actually showing sympathy to this imaginary personality. (Click on 'Suicide isn't sexy' on the right column of the blog to understand what this blog is really about)
For those of you who are actually contemplating suicide, try to find peace within yourself. Rid yourself of all emotions and ask your true self, "Is suicide really the only solution?"
I HSVR DOLUTION FOR YOU SEE HOW MUCH FUN YOU HAVE NOW ON YOU LAST DAYS LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE ITS YOUR LAST .....
You guys are aware this IS a bluff?
under her video and description theres this button "suicide isent sexy"
click it, it explains this is an anti suicide website.
But if this is anti suicide blog how that she is writing about every her day and making movies and all that ?????
i am sorry i am interrupting but isnt that fake...?..oh 'sorry didnt wanted to ruin the fun..
Hey athenes bitch, im a man who belives in mutual pleasure so why dont we make the last day of your life the best youve ever had by sucking my dick for the whole 25 hours yes thats right we'll make an extra hour for it.
Ps my dear may i have persmission to tap dat fine ass you have. Now while were on the subject of your ass why doe athene not grab it more. Just like to say your tits are very fine and i would like to see them while you suck my dick.
lots of love ol 'jack repping the hood xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
please please suck me off :)
This is so fake...i'f she really would kill herself she would have already done it
By the way nerds who dont like the above comment. your hate feeds me bitches and makes my epeen grow that extra inche.
Good day cockfaces
YEAAAAAH BOY YOU GOTTA FINE PAIR OF TATS!
for fuck sake just sucdk me off i really want it FOR FUCK SAKE WOMEN SHOW ME YOUR TITS BEFORE U DIE.
ol-jack
This anti-suicide campaign is great, i really admire the activity of ipower. You are the ones who step forward to do something for the better future and that's deserves some respect!
Etlao
I suppose if you want to do it, then it's your business. I just would like to say you're putting a great unnecessary emotional burden on your family. My brother died when he was 4 months old, and my parents suffered greatly for many years afterward. The loss of a child is incredibly painful. It just seems wrong to do that to your family. But if you still want to do it, then at least consider saving the money so that you can pay for your own funeral. There is no sense in making your family pay emotional AND financial dues for your choice.
May God have mercy on your soul...and perhaps I'll see you in Heaven when my time comes. Or perhaps I'll be looking down on you. Either way, consider the aforementioned idea. It isn't their fault...don't make it their fault...and don't saddle them with more undue hardship.
Again, I hope God has mercy on you.
i agree with an earlyer post about no afterlife, just nothing. whn you die there is no heaven or hell. people who say they hav seen a bright light when they where near death or have died and come back by shocking, well it is brain activity and if the person is left dead for too long the brain cant get air and the pleasent light and feeling is gone, theres no feeling, so seance. you are gone and no longer exist as a living breathing human with thoughts, your body eventually decomposes and becomes one with earth you are now scattered throughout earth as something other than what you used to be. besides if there where such a thing ass heaven and hell the bible already tells us just by being alive, we're all going to hell. so realy the only upside to death is true freedom, becoming one with earth. nobody can take from you but at the same time nobody can give to you, death turns what was able to think and breath into possibly fertiliser for a tree or whatever.
Tania what the hell are you doing i do not understand why you are doing this. i have read your blogs since day 78 and i still do not understand why you are doing this. you are going to hurt your loved ones and for what?
You need to reconsider
I have watched all your videos with athene and stuff thats how i found this blog.
Its a pretty random thing to see
And its gonna be a huge letdown to all your fans such as me.
This is some kind of ridiculous. Actually. I don't understand what the point of killing yourself is. To be honest it seems kind of selfish in a sense...doin this just to take yourself off the face of the earth, what about your family hey? Plus you're a very beautiful person and could do plenty in your lifetime if you really wanted to, but i guess you don't.
Dear Tania,
I am your Catholic friend !
Wow, you did a lot of shoppings with your mother.
Today I want to tell you how material things affect your life.
Compare with the African countries and North Korea, how many of people dwelling therein are starving? How dreadful are they want of material things?
Some voluntary organisation went there to supply them goods, and many of thoose volunteeers returns with joy, seeing the indigent victims have satisfaction which we not easily attain, and how sufficient our livelihood is!
As any other people, I pursuit techmology which brings everyone fortune, but here hidden a malaise that people would rely them too much and under their slavery without being conscious.
For example, there are some people began to transplant microchip in their arms. The microship stored every data of each person...
Let see it is a trick issued by the New World Order, ourlife would finaaly under their control because if we do not comply with the government we would lose all our properties...
So if we do not change, thios will happen.
So do not depend too much on material things, if you turn simple, then become satisfactory, there will be no need to commit suicide.
FRIENDSHIP FOREVER.
Tania, my older brother took his life when I was 12. At this time my brother was 18. I looked up to him by all means, he was my hero. I always longed from him to come home, due to all the fun we used to have. No one still knows why he did it, but I'm 21 now. I'm STARTING to get over it. For the love of your sister, Tania. Don't do it. She'll be scarred for ever, and her teenage life will be destroyed, she won't be able to do all the fun things you're supposed to do as a teenager. I know this by own experience. I was depressed for several years after this. I had very close to get close to someone. Not only depressing your sister, she will prolly never get married due to this.
Please.
i cant understand why people think she is going die. read the suicide isnt sexy on your right
Ahahaha:
Seriously DON'T do it. I know this may sound wierd as it sounds evangelistic, but you WILL regret it. If you are christian, you should know that your suicidal thoughts are the devil's doing, and you will spend the rest of your time in hell, or 'eternal death'. I hope you will reconsider, and that you will probably go seek a pastor's help. Anyways, just don't do it. Unless you want to experience eternal death.
Hey, don't you die on me yet. You 've still got 40.000 blowjobs to deliver.... XD
And guys i will repeat it again, this is fake, and don't try mimic such acts. She tries to grab attention and make critic with this blog in a way of suicide attempts by pointing of how stupid they might look. Nevertheless there are also many people that can think this as serious and mimic it, and it is absolutely stupid if even 1 person dies due to this stupid blog.
krebsen 69
People, Wake up! It's fake!
Try to examine what she is doing besides this blog, try to analyze what she is reading and you'll see hundreds of clues as to why this is just fake - The most basic being that people who commit suicide don't have a rational thought-process, but there are hundreds of other clues.
She's trying to get attention and "maybe" trying to make a point(Although i fail to see it). That i find it appalling the way she/you are trying to do it, since it can make other people do stupid things, is something completely else.
WTF? Shame on you for putting this out here and making it seem like it's for real.
There are enough young people in the world today who are genuinely hurting and thinking about commiting suicide without a dumbass like you putting this kind of thing on the web that might just encourage it.
I'm a member of a site where one young lady did in fact kill herself a few months ago and it sent the whole site into a tailspin b/c of the young people suffering from depression and other mental health issues.
Shame, shame, shame on you! >:-[
I am not gonna get into the matter to convince you or not to kill yourself, I think there are has been enough good posting to let you think otherwise. My matter its that you say you dont take responsibility for what other people do, as planning like you their suicide. You cant just say that, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.. if you dont want to be, the less you can do its to lock the webpage to underage people.. its for a reason there a restriction about 18.. because very young people are not acapable to think the right way, to realize things or enough expierence to evaluate the circustamces. When we were young, sometimes we wanted to kill ourselves just because we got some low degree in School and we though life has no more meaning... when you grow up and you look back, you know you way of thinking was wrong. With you way to publish online your suicide, you encourage young people to kill himselfes, young people who are too young to really decide what is good or not.
The only thing I could possible imagine to justificate what you are doing, its that you are not planning to kill yourselve, and you do a kind of learnbook against suicide in then in the last day you recognize how wonderfoul life is...
Sorry for shitty English, but I think My message its really important.
I dont know what the fuck u guys are thinking but someone who wants to die just dont talks about it in the internet... thats the only sure thing! tania... i dont know any second of ur life.. why sould i know the only moment of ur death... U cannot imagine how many people will die at the same day u are saying that u will commit a suicide!! If u realy want to die... No mail can stop u... but at least respect the fact that u are talking to many people about a death...!! the day u managed to die will kill many people and be sure of it!! Dont be emo tania... u decide how u will live...
I'll feel you somewhere deep inside.
If by somewhere deep inside you mean with my penis.
Me too ^_^
How do we get to confirm that you are dead?
For Christ's sake just do it already! All of you assholes, JUST DO IT.
make sure that douche bag Athene films it and posts it up here. I WANT BLOOD!!!!
Hi, my name is Dustin. I'm 17 years old and till about 1 year ago, I constantly had a strong desire to kill myself. I tried choking myself, drowning myself, and tried to run my car off the road going as fast as I could into a tree. I was never capable of doing so. Even though life was hard, and I had a strong desire to die, I just couldn't do it. There were a few times I even tried to kill myself just because I got bored of living. Eventually I came to realize that there's a lot more to life that I expected, and after a while came to my own conclusion about the meaning of life. And for me, the meaning of life is to love.
After coming to this conclusion I started to see things differently. It's as if I can see into the minds of others and understand them better than anyone else.
Tania, you don't want to kill yourself. You're just afraid of continuing your life any further... you're afraid of what might happen, but you shouldn't let fear run you. Fear is what harms others... fear is what causes true pain.
I really hope you read this, and even if it's not much, I hope it changes you in some way. Weather you commit suicide or not, that's your decision. You shouldn't need someone else to tell you what's right and what's wrong.
When you do die could you leave your tits hanging out for a few pimps? k cheers
It's pretty hilarious how people think shes going to kill herself lol. Hello? This Tania from Athenewins and ipower. Not only that but JUST CLICK THE GOD DAMMIT BUTTON THAT SAYS SUICIDE IS NOT COOL UNDER THE DESCRIPTION! Geez.
yo you wanna have some real crazy fun holla at me and well hang out, mention Punked on your next Blog if you wanna get together, you seem like a rly cool person and i think you have alot more to offer to life :)
Tania ,, i really dont know u that much and there is a thousand of ppl are careing for u !
u touch the heart of many ppl . i belive some of them want to be just like u ..
i start reading from day 16 or so,,
just think of ur lovers and ur parents .. dont make them suffer !
there is many ppl reading waching u
through the internet !!
i think ur a good person so reconsider wht ur thinking and make it right !
i hope i'm trying to help u with this few word .. and killing ur self is not goin to do anything good u hopeing to have !
plx try to think about wht ur doing to ur life and reconsider ur bad idea !
Gl + Tc
hello
i just suicided 3 days ago
this is a ghost leaving the comment
just one thing
it's really fun being a ghost
yesterday i met Lincoln and shaked hands with him lol
well see ya after 2 weeks :)
can i ask, what is so bad about your life? you say you love your friends and family..why are you going to commit suicide?
You aren't really going to kill yourself youre just attention-whoring. Maybe you should get a life.
This entire web site, the entire idea, is incredibly offensive to me. I tried to kill myself three times during a very difficult period, and the incredible amount of misinformation and misunderstanding about suicide is very dangerous. Not only is this misinformation available to the suicidal, but the misconceptions about are so widespread that if you really are suicidal, you may be told "go ahead" by strangers or even loved ones.
True, you put up a little disclaimer pointing out that you are somehow campaigning against these extremely negative ideas by engaging the very behaviors you decry. However, this disclaimer is virtually invisible, you actively tried to make it less obvious, and it does not appear on many versions of the blog, including where I am commenting now at blogger.com. This blog is ported everywhere, has multiple RSS feeds, and nowhere is it apparent that this is not completely serious.
It's extremely emotionally manipulative and attention-whoring at best, and criminal at worst. You can offer to have sex with anonymous virgins on the internet and make phony runs for political office all day, and I don't care. It's stupid, it wastes time, it's dishonest, it makes misogynists everywhere regard me as an object just a little bit more - but that's fine. I don't have to agree with everyone in the world. Everyone doesn't have to behave according to my standards. I am reasonable.
But I draw the line at doing things that will probably get people killed, and cause untold suffering as a result. This is disgusting and pathetic.
I'm sure it's hard to understand your worth as a human being when you seem to see yourself in such a poor light, basically as a sexual object. But you don't need to tear down everyone else to feel better about your life.
And for whoever is reading this - certainly not the author, I'm afraid - before you tell a suicidal person "you just want attention, go ahead and do it," take some time to educate yourself about suicide first. I was told that, and took it seriously. I can only feel grateful that I ended up arrested and committed, though it was certainly not a pleasant experience, I am very happy to be alive.
The data show irrefutably that suicide is preventable, that most suicidal people don't really want to die, and that if they can be prevented just at the moment of attempt, they will not just run off and do it somewhere else. Putting nets up on a bridge does save lives, as people will not simply go across town to the other bridge, or buy a gun instead.
In order to commit suicide, you have to come to a point where all reason breaks down and you are operating completely irrationally. You are caught in an extremely scary place of pure emotion. It is useless to try to reason with someone who is suicidal, but it is equally useless to assign the rules of logic to a suicidal person. It may seem intuitive that it's folly to stop someone from taking his own life, as he'll do it at the first opportunity. This is absolutely false.
The whole 90-day blog thing, though, you needn't take seriously. It is highly unusual for someone to plan their suicide out and talk about it rationally. I did plan mine once, but it was only a week in advance, and I wasn't serious about it - just as anyone who starts a stupid blog like this is not!
It's true... most people who say they will or do attempt suicide don't really want to die. It is a cry for help. It is not, however, a conscious attempt to get help or attention - if I consciously wanted help, I would look for it at a therapist's office, not on the roof of a tall building!
Forgive me for passionate and lengthy ranting, but I was treated rather cruelly on several occasions when I was truly desperate and suicidal. I think it was a mix of genuine ill-will, but mostly ignorance and suffering from delusions of the extremely widespread false beliefs about suicide. I am very, very lucky to be alive - merely by coincidence - despite it, and it terrifies me to know that other people are receiving the same treatment.
I know from personal experience that if someone is helped back from the edge, he can go on to live a great life and help many other people. I am happier than I ever thought possible just five years after wanting to die just to stop the pain I felt. Anyone can make it back with a little encouragement.
I was really touched by that email.
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