I have today decided to give myself one last mission before I leave this planet.
That mission is to find out more about life, what it means, and how come it is so subjective. I caught a part of a war documentary on tv the other day, which is actually what got me thinking in the first place, and I've been wondering about how absurd the comparison really is. On the one hand you have people fighting for their lives despite the overwhelming misery that surrounds them, and with this I mean not only soldiers, but also children who are dying of famine and diseases, victims of abuse and torture, men and women who know what the word pain really means; both mentally and physically.
And on the other hand you have boys and girls who contemplate taking their own lives because of their low popularity in school, a broken heart or their general sense of emptiness, despite the fact that they have never felt but an ounce of the misery of the people I mentioned before.
Now the first mentioned, the soldiers and dying children, the men and women who have seen true misery, they cling to life with all their might. There are men who have seen their best friends slain besides them while limping on injured legs, and yet they made it through and they live out their lives and try to be happy...
What makes us so miserable that we would take our own lives when they would not? That is my questions to all my readers. Not that I am changing my mind, cause I'm not, but I am curious if anyone can rationalize it for me.
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45 comments:
i had questions about life the other day. What is the point and all that good stuff :). I am an atheist male living in Florida, i have a full tuition scholarship but i feel incomplete. We all end up in the same place---- but since we all end up in the same place, why not just experience what life actually is. Keeping an omniscient view of life, how everything works together. There have been many, many people that have asked themselves the question of purpose that are non-religious, the majority of them have not killed themselves, why? Because they have found a better motive--- to live without caring, taking on hedonism.
now think of the people that will suffer-- full out suffer because of your death, in another view it can be viewed as being selfish, extinguishing your own pain while hurting those around you much more in the process.
http://demonical.com/satanic-offerings.htm
Consider this before you go. Might make some money for NEE!! Plus, it'll set your mind to rest as to what to expect.
As so many religions believe that if you commit suicide you are damned, you might as well cash in before you just give your soul away.
Be practical at least.
This is the very question that I, Meyecelph have pondered for years. I am just a simple man. No scholarly education but I will try to explain why I feel that we do this. We humans in the more developed nations no longer have anything to fight for. We have no great cause to give us purpose. We have been brainwashed to believe that the so called freedom we have now is the best that life will ever be. The constant thought of me having to work most of my life in a crappy job just to survive is enough to depress me. We no longer have hope. The generations of babies that were born after 1970 have evolved in their spirits past the point of what the majority of the world believes is the meaning of life. We know that life is not supposed to be some great competition until we are resting in our graves, yet we have to face it everyday from our brainwashed peers. Every aspect of our lives is wrong. From the moment you were born, you were given the right to live. In order to live you must have three essential ingredients: Food, water and shelter. Why must we compete every day for the necessities of life? That is my great cause. That is what keeps me going everyday. To expose our so called freedom for what it really is. The enslavement of humankind so that our governments can prosper. I hope that one day I will be heard and make a difference. I wish to see a worldwide change in the way we must live. It is every human being's right to have food, water and shelter whether you can afford to pay for it or not. The poor people in the third world countries know how we live in the rest of the developed world, and the only thing that keeps them going is the hope that they, too will have the same so called freedoms as us. I could never do this subject justice as I am still learning and growing everyday but I hope that, in some way I have explained part of why we feel the way we do. Before you "check out", try and read "The Indigo Children". It explains more about the human soul evolving. I hope that you do not follow through with your plan. Your exterior beauty pales in comparison to the beauty of your inner soul. From what I have read, you are far brighter than the majority of the world's population. It would be a shame to lose such a passionate thinking soul such as yours. It would only tip the scales in their favor. I understand the pressures of having to follow through with your commitment but suicide is the easy way out. I hope to hear from you 22 days from this post. Join me in the struggle to fight this modern day tyranny and oppresion!
Pain and suffering is what makes the world go round. If it weren't for the sad and miserable people, what would make the happy people feel good about?
haha, bit of a riddle I suppose, but taking your own life in my opinion is stupid and cowardice. You'll just be another dead one 6 feet under. I submit to you, fuck depression, dont kill yourself. There's so much more in life that your young mind does not know. This is where existentialist questions come into place, what's the meaning of life? Will it matter if i'm gone?
It's only natural for you to feel these set of questions raging through your mind, but you're not a teenager so it is no longer hormones. it is your mind. the most intricate object in the world. Now you must go through a journey to scavenge out an answer. but not for you, you're deadset on killing yourself, a foolish move. There's probably nothing my 14 year old self over the internet can tell you to stop you from killing yourself. Except I can only tell you - Find God, embrace him. - I'm not here to convert you, but there is no logical evidence of a God, a man in the clouds controlling the Earth? Bat-shit crazy i tell you. But the logic is not what tells me God is there, but the constant feeling that he is. The conscience of man, the faith.
I'd enjoy your reply exceptionally so. Thanks ;]
Nothing...
nothing is what would drive us to that. knowing happiness and losing it would drive some one to strive to attain anew. but nothingness, and want, and emptiness would make one feel hopeless. they technically don't even know what happiness is because they have only seen one thing. and ( as odd as this sounds) that one thing is nothing. people need people to live. people need other to give them a release.
-Dustin
If you're going to off yourself, do it, and stop this attention whoring.
i believe you are misinterpreting life, i mean this world is a crazy world dont get me wrong, but commiting suicide so young is such a bad idea, (not here to bash you or anything) but life is so beautiful if you look at it from a different perspective, get married and start a family, there is nothing more beautiful, your a young girl, your life should not be wasted
please send me some naked pics, you are one of the hottest girls ive ever seen, and if you are ever in california let me know
-andrew
Lady, your hot and if you killed yourself, then you would be directly insulting your creator, may it be god or whatever your beliefs lie in. You say you feel you have no greater purpose, well that parts true, humans have no greater purpose but to reproduce and eventually die. So you might as well have a kid or two, then see if you still want to kill yourself. By the way, i cleaned up my first sentence a LOT. That was not what i originally typed but i decided against sounding like an American douchebag.
Why do the hopeful fight and the hopeless give in? sounds like the answer is in the question...Hope.
-Dane
Also, I can't wait to see how this blog ends.
Whats the point in killing yourself and write a blog about it otherwise? What your doing is pointless. You obviously don't care about your family nor thanking God that you have shelter. Someone like you has internet, a family that cares. I tried to kill myself at one point but I don't $%^ or complain, writing a blog about it. Think about the homeless, they have nothing and you have something. Make an effort to help them. Think about world hunger, you have people in Hati who are to poor to import food from other countries and instead eat dirt. Get help and move on with your life.
-Andrew
well if you have your mind bent on suiciding in 21 days now...i guess no one can actually say anything to stop you. SO i guess people should stop all this talking about life...she's going to think its a load of shit anyway.
You are sexy
My name is Andrew C.
I got a question for you have you heard about the vicious 8 in America who ganged up on this 16 year old girl I'm sure you saw it on Youtube. What do you think about it?
Honestly, all you people who talk about how hurt her familty will be, or how other people suffer more...Are queer F(_)C ]<'s. Obviously, no one cares about poor kids in africa, which is actually a scam brought up by self - fashist leaders. But, personally, Tania wont kill herself. I can't see whats wrong with her life, She is pretty hot, isn't she?. If, yes - if, she was going to kill herself, she would of done it on day 90. You dont kill yourself to be cool or anything, you do it because your life sucks at that point of time, You wouldn't go living on, with your crappy, so-called insuperior life, for 3 extra months, just to write some stupid blog. Oh and to answer the meaing of life, I have no religion, but that doesn't mean im that religion that doesn't believe in a religion. I believe that we have 2 purposes. 1 ) We're in a Rat maze, called Life. We have some-what biggers/elders watching us. Seeing how some people come out at getting a perfect life. They cause earthquakes and disasters. Heck, they could even punish us after we Die...Hmm...Sounds a bit like Christianity, Doesn't it?. Wanna know why? Cause i just made it up on the spot. The second, reason, Is to live life, for the purpose of having life. If you dont know what i mean...You have 2 boats, Ones a cruiser, ones a speed boat. You like the speed boat, and use it often. Even though you dont like the cruiser, you use it anyway, just for the fact you have it.
我想搞你xxxx
Are you serious gurl with the suicide?
LOL she got me and alot of people i guess. If you look closely *i dunno if u people got it or not but i do* at the right hand side bar. you should go down until you see a button sayin "suicide isnt sexy"
I think you should click and read VERY carefully.
just wondering, will we be able to watch you commit suicide like on a vid or something?
oh and heres a suicide idea, just take a bottle of "Drain-O" and chug. if that doesnt show you the physical meaning of pain I honestly cant tell you what will. or you could always wrap your lips around the end of a gun...
Hi Tania dont do this i was in (belive me) shit too,my both friend died before 3 years and i feel like part of me is missing...
When they died, and when i hear what happen i didnt talk,eat,nothin
about 2 weeks that crash me...if u got friends dont loose em and all will be fine...Before 2 months in school i got croatian and mine proffesor tell us...when enemy kick you it wont hurt,but if friend kick you this will hurt...
Please dont suicide i know this world is goin to doom but what can little man do??I think nothin...
I know this im talking is maybe worthless but please Tania think more and dont suicide...please
u got some messenger so we can talk?
I kno nothin shud change ur mind bout this bt think bout it wat will change if you do this all that will happen is you become another number in suicide "victim" and this also can be a way to help others not just you. But realize this you may feel lonely but you are never alone. because some where out in the world there is someone who is feeling the same way. And I bet there is someone saying the same thing I'm saying but suicide shouldn't be an option for people special ones with loved ones.
I wonder if a random nerdy guy did this, would he get any attention? Guess there's only one way to find out!
Hi,i never had girlfriend i love mine life,because when im in shit...i take mine guitar or i go to mine friend so we play volleyball..dont suicide i know its hard to tell you something now(i hope u dont kill yourself) but please Tania think 1 more time
Also Tania if I never really talk to you I just want to say "I LOVE YOU" I do, I mean it a whole lot all these post you put up the word you are giving to people I LOVE YOU for being you and being true to yourself I wish I could at least conversate a bit but you probly don't want to talk to me. But I was just giving you LOVE from my heart. You might not read it or anything of a sort but you can cure anything with LOVE it just depends on the person giving it to you. But I speak no lie " I TRULY LOVE YOU"
Bryan Adams - Never let go
Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need, but take less than you give?
Could you close every day, without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high, when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.
We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.
Can you lose everything, you ever had planned?
Can you sit down again, and play another hand?
Could you risk everything, for the chance of being alone?
Under pressure find the grace, or would you come undone?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say.
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/jZ ]
We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, cause you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.
Never let go, Never let go, Never let go
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.
We say goodbye, but never let go.
We live, we die, 'but you can't save every soul.
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man who;
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.
Will never look back, never look down,
and never let go.
i am in deep shit i read whole your blog...cuse im very emotional
<_> <0>
Lol, just kill yourself already
OMG, really guys. Has anyone checked the links? Does anyone know anything about hunting down info on the net? Go to and wiki "NEE" or even better CLICK ON "THE SUICIDE ISN'T SEXY" LINK IN THE BLOG MARGIN.
This website is brilliant, and its amazing the response from people it stir. So to all gullable dicks out there, LEARN TO FUCKING USE THE NET. Good work Tania, and the I movieLOL gang :)
Life is about imagination, what you think about your self is true. But people are weak they believe what other think about them. Human should only believe in thinks that help. You can only work with things you got. And if you got nothing you still got your own life.
life is such a precious and priceless commodity. dont waste yours and if you are going to go through with your death at least become an organ donor maybe with your death more will continue to live. life is what you make of it and giving up on your potential purpose of the great life you could lead is a complete waste.
and on a last note why do you care about ur internet problems on ipower when you dont even value yourself?
Many of the soldiers become crazy after coming back to their boring life. And most of these men kill themselves and sometimes other people at the same time.
People who suffer from misery don't know anything else, I think if we give them our life, they wouldn't know what doing with it, I mean, they tried to have this life and when they have, what can they feel? only deception. I heard a story that a man somebody had get out of misery and helped him to climb the social ladder had killed him because he thinked his new life was worse than his old in misery.
We live in a world of shit, and we all have our shit. Us, not in misery can see that our problems aren't so bad, but there are our problems, we aren't in misery.
if taking your life completes you and that it will make you happy to leave this world, i don't think anyone can prevent you from doing what you want...but aren't you afraid that by taking in control of your life, deciding your death, and preparing for it, you get afraid of what will happen to you after. maybe there is something awaits you after you die, maybe there is not. but the thing is an known ending with an unknown result is sometimes scarily crazy, and i admire you that you take control of your life and not afraid of the consequences. i just hope that as you leave this world you leave it on a positive note, of creating a ripple somewhere in the ocean of humanity...
HELLO, I DID NOT READ REASON OF KILLING YOURSELF BUT I PROMISE I LL HELP, JUST CONTACT ME ON MY E MAIL ADRESS : OLOLO@NET.HR ENTER SOME CODE "I WANNA LIVE". I LL DO ANYTHING TO SAVE ONE LIFE.
TRUST ME.
This is not real
Tania, I am sorry you do not get any love. I am sorry those guys you hang out with don't want to fuck you. I am sorry that I am not there to give you what you need. Warm sweet love that only a proud white man can give to a beautiful pure Aryan woman like you. Love that spouts inside your Aryan vagina, flows freely out of the same. Love that grows and fills your belly with life, radiance and purpose.
Before you kill yourself, come see me. I will show you life is worth living. Your body is a pure temple of love and affection. You are made perfect to give life. Your lips, your big jugs, your pretty face, your wet Aryan vagina.
My e-mail is ryn4hnnty@yahoo.com. Let's get together. I will give you all the joy you need so that you will live to give life. Breed, be fruitful and multiply.
Please tell me this is fake. I can't believe she would actually do this, as beautiful as she is. I know that has absolutely nothing to do with it, but what would drive someone to actually plan out their death? It's sad and I hope she realizes its not worth it, pain is apart of life, but there are things out there that are worth the fight. Im certain there is someone out there that would do anything for her. She has to be able to fall on someone and if she isn't at this very moment, then she certainly will find someone int he future.
I do not mean to sound cheesy but if she really needs someone to talk to, or someone she is able to just vent I'd be willing to take it....anything to save a life.
I believe that going through such things, then finding a stable life with out the overwhelming fights and struggles for survival allows them to understand what is most worth living for. It may even be the fact that they want to show those who brought such pain that it has no affected them, or that they were able to pull through and become stronger and better people they anyone believed they could be. They lead to live normal lives, or to fight another day.
Through out life many of us are told by people we arn't this and we arn't that. Some do what ever they can to prove that person wrong. Some just give in at first then fight. Some give in for good. No matter what, I feel its most important in any situation to force yourself to see the good in this world. If you deal with pain and suffering, its important to do your best to go and find that something. Unfortunetly some are unable to find that special something and some don't try.
I hope you really know the motives and reasons behind your suicide. It's sad to see someone as beautiful as you even consider this. that said I certainly hope you find the answers you seek.
Also, as the person below stated, consider the people you would hurt, friends and family. For are not most of those people worth living for? They more than anyone other person are capable of understanding you and your struggle if you allow them to.
So, what special thing you wanna do b4 you leave?
I know at least you can stop crying pain over there and help those who are really in pain, that can be your purpose since you think they are in pain.
I've been through this too, but have a thought on it, we know people are suffering outside, why not sacrificing our time for them?
Life has no definition, it depends on how you use it. You don't need to be God or Buddha or Zeus to help those around you, jus be there when someone else need you.
We can enjoy life fully from different aspects, just because it has no limit, no boundaries, no particular cycle of life, you just do something different each day and you'll feel different.
Trust me, life has more to explore^^
I believe this is a matter of balance. Western (spoiled) people are faced with non materialistic challenges. They're urged to fulfill unnatural societal standards. This makes them feel empty inside, because it's void of any proper reward in the long run. "Being good enough"...
Fighting for your life, for your loved ones, really craving for food and finally taking a bite, is far more promoting for the human being. It is the natural up and down that we originate from, and happens in the physical world rather than in mental constructs.
The wealthy modern person is oftentimes more afraid of his repressed emotions than material threats. (S)he's habitually attached, gets stuck and his/her life becomes a drag, in security not asked for and everlasting comfort with nothing to contrast against. Without "play", there is no reason to live and thus the conclusions are evident.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asqd1H4IluQ
all you are doing with your website is creating a lame ass attention advertisement... no one is taking you seriously ( and if they are, i feel sorry for them ).
whether this is a joke in order to create a school project on human reactions towards suicide or whether you will actually kill yourself ( which i don't believe because most people do not make websites about it ), however i do hope that you do kill yourself eventually because you are a sad and boring individual who somewhat believes that she has a unique mind... which you don't.
the only decent quality about you is your breasts, but there are more fish in the pound which makes you even more boring.
just shut the fuck up and die or leave... if you do kill yourself, have something or someone recruit it and upload it on a torrent site because we all know youtube will delete it.
comment 39 was awesome.
Heh, rationalized...it can't be done without neglecting some aspect of the concept because it is an emotional impulse that operates outside the restraints of rational thought. That's why it seems so bizarre to non-suicidal people.
But, the motive is fairly simple yet semi-illogical to rational people. Usually it's to aquire some kind of solace or for vindication.
In the Blog you inquired as to why those that see harsh things before their eyes strive to live while who live a mundane safer existence sometimes 'bite the bullet'?
While the things we see may have a substantial impact on how we respond to day to day reality it's not the deciding factor in suicides because some people don't have intense, compared to the horrors we know exist (rape, murder, perpetual abuse, neglect, etc).
Basically, it's the internal hell that proves more difficult to overcome because it's much more invasive yet harder to discern from nominal aspects of self. And it directly affects our perceptions and actions instantly and subsonciously. This hell can easily remove rational thought and cause irratic behaviors.
To quote Al Pacino in 'that movie', "There is no prosthetic for an amputated spirit."
Conversly, external struggles are easily identified as NOT SELF. The solutions are always objective and much easier to resolve than internal stuggles. This is due to the fact that the internal misery IS a part of SELF. It can't be resolved without a positive change in the composition of one's soul.
This IS exceedingly difficult because the mind/soul/psyche can only be healed by the mind/soul/psyche.
wow, way too much. I'm sure most people won't read. Oh well.
i believe the reason anybody feels bad enough to contemplate suicide when they dont seem to have anything to feel that bad about compared with say a third world country at war with poeple dying and injured is because you are used to alot different life. 1 way i can explain what i mean is we've all heard about someone who gets severely injured and is in hospital for some time and they have a renewed energy and vigour and eagerness for life. so many poeple in this country, and some other countries as well, become bored with there life. really i believe we were meant and are happier when we work physically hard at least a few hours of every day. even an hour or two a day of excersise really makes a difference. i know first hand. most jobs i've had were really physical and demanding. even though i would be tired some days after work, over all i felt better and happier.
sincerely,
christopher frost
The reason that a dying soldier hangs on to life is the fact of unfinished business. What if they have a wife and kids? Who will take care of them? He is the only one who can give them a chance to make something of themselves and live happily.
--TJ
The soldier isn't an unhappy person. He is a happy person thrust in to a bad situation, often by choice, so he knows and is prepared. He's happy in spite of his situation. Then you have to account for a sort of relative misery. Yes, a person in a third world country has it worse off. But so does everyone in their family and their community, so everyone emphasizes with their misery to an equal degree and they all help each other where possible. They have different standards of livelihood. If someone in the Wetsern world feels they have inescapable problems (that's more a psychological thing) it's understandable. The people surrounding them are more likely to be the cause of the problem than the solution, also.
*empathize and Western. Urgh.
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