Today I changed my mind.
All of you who have been reading my blog for a while now know that I have always been of the opinion that people didn't really matter, we're not really special, suicide doesn't really mean anything, etc. etc. But I had a revelation today, and due to it I changed my mind.
I do matter. I am special. I am a 'beautiful and unique snowflake'! And I feel great about it!
Seriously, the more I think about it the more I know that I do contribute to this world, that I do have something to offer and that I will be thoroughly missed if I would actually kill myself. I mean, just to sum up a few of my qualities: I take care of my little sister, I write prose and poetry, I draw, I sing, I've acted in amateur feature films, and I've even directed one of my own - which I never really finished but still. I'm adding a clip to this blog from the movie I directed, to showcase my talents, lest I be called a liar. :p
So yeah, I am a multi-talented and valuable individual. I no longer feel worthless, I no longer feel empty.
Don't get my wrong though, I'm still going to kill myself, cause life still sucks. I just feel better about it knowing that I'll be missed. :)
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49 comments:
Sigh we all know your not REALLY gonna kill yourself...you may save some people but you also my make osme people think it IS cool to do it. Think its the right thing to do?
wow. Suicide is such a an awesome idea. I never realised how cool and popular it makes you.
I'm going to kill myself in 70 days too! XD
Congratulations Tania!
I liked it, is original and even it maked me laugh a little in the "censored" scenes.
Good job lady,it shall win a couple of prizes when finished.
Suicide song 4 today:
- Max Romeo & the Upsetters:
Chase the devil
Sincerely Yours,
40.001 Admirer,
NoReplyBox
I want your titties. Seriously, I'll take you to America if you show me them.
Dear, Tania
I've seen your blog and I need to respond. Alright, your only 25 years old your quitting on life because it sucks? not a good reason your 25 your still learning about life and earth and life suppose to get boring to us humans when were 70 years old you know, You still have 3 chances left in life and killing yourself is not the answer. Yes, we all know your talented but why are you going to let that waste.In the after life it might be more boring then what it is now unless your going to belive you going to be with 70 virgins in a paradise island like the suicide bombers in Irak.
~Keep your chin up, Always~
~Elvis Christopher Rugueiro
Does anyone actually believe this, what an attention whore
Tania,
I really felt that you made a break through, you found some purposes that you can and should live for. Not only that, I really would miss your vids, since I don't know you personally, I wont say that I would miss you because I know you. I do know this.... You ARE as a rare and beautiful snow flake, your facial expressions explin alot about you. So please conitue your journey in life, if not for yourself, then for your fans, for your prosperity. The future is yours, take it, make it, please don't break it.
Sorrowfully Paul
This is to bad. I have just became a huge fan of all the films you guys produce. I know it will not be the same without you in them. Hopefully this is gonna be like one of those "soap operas" where the person gets killed off, but then comes back in later episodes. Can you change your mind again, and please at least finish the current film just posted? You know, it will be like a going away present. Only you are giving the present to us. I would give you something, but your going to be dead, and you would probably just donate it anyway. Infact I think I will do that. I will donate something, to someone, for your going away present. Maybe I could even throw a going away party! Hey, now thats an idea. It could even be a surprise party. Boy, I bet they will be surprised, who ever gets the party. You know, maybe you could help me choose what to get you, or I mean get the present for who ever I donate to. Also if you really wanted to you could help me plan the surprise party. Holy cow, I have so many ideas it is not even funny. Please, pretty please help me plan the party. I wouldn't know what to do meeting big stars like you guys. That would be the shi mot fu-ka. Seriously though, in no case should suicide be taken lightly. I do beleive there are just causes for suicide. Look at the story of Jesus Christ for instance. Most people don't realize that it was practicaly an act of suicide. All he had to do was declaim being the Son of God, and they would have let him go. In this case I kind of feel the reason is just. I feel there are many reasons to her maddnes, and most seem pretty good, but ask your self "is any reason good enough for taking your life or anyone elses for that matter"? It all depends on what is in the heart and in the mind. Everyones heart is in a different place, like wise for thier mind. I am little weiry to see what happens on day 90. To see if it is real or just make belief. Please let it be make belief.
P.S. My thanks go out to the Creator (aka God), those who experience 11:11, the entire Ipower crew, and of course Tania. Thanks for getting my mind Ipowered!
"Either you are a pro or a noob, that's life."
"Schiff around the corner"
-Jason
familian1111@yahoo.com
LOLOLOLOL GO DIE LOLOLOLOLOL :D:D:D
Seriously, are you mentaly retarded?
Life is something given to you and you'r gonna waste this by taking suicide? Why? Probably because you ran out of toilet paper....
That looks like it could be really good if finished and could make a lot of money. Suicide is pointless, you get nothing out of it, its better just to get a shrink or something, they can be really good, you just have to get the right one.
She is not an attention whore not is it reall its just fake and a way to hit the internet/blog suiciders..
'beautiful and unique snowflake'... Some expressions in your blog appeared in the movie "Fight Club" (and the book from Chuck Palahniuk). Are you following its ideas ??
Can I take you seriously ??
From Spain.
'beautiful and unique snowflake'... Some expressions in your blog appeared in the movie "Fight Club" (and the book from Chuck Palahniuk). Are you following its ideas ??
Can I take you seriously ??
From Spain.
You said yourself that hell would be worse then your life, so why would you want to make it worse for yourself? O_o
No you are not going to die, I can tell. At least not near the 10 years ahead.
This is fact.
/Angel Vasquez
From chile.
Either kill yourself now or don't. This is just an excersize in public masturbation.
At first I thought...Don't comment...no one cares....Then I thought....I CARE...
Tania...Suicide is the most selfish thing a human being can do...And I will tell you why...
It's taking your beauty....your mind...and everything you have to offer the world and simply telling it NO!...There are so many people in the world that are depressed...You might be one as well...But there are also people that can do GOOD for the world....And who's to know if that would be you or not, if you simply end your life....
Tania...there IS a god...no one really knows how he works....but let me tell you...He knows, and he is there...He has the power to give life and take it when he sees fit....It's NOT your time...
I don't know you in real life...I have only seen you in the clips/vids/movies that Churien has made..(I think thats how u spell his name)
All I can say is...I hope you read this and realise there are options in this world...however BAD it may be...You can ALWAYS walk away...Unless of course you have no legs >.>
LoL...BUT seriously...It's not your time, you'll know it when it comes...God knows it...
Im not some religous freak who is trying to convert you or something...I'm just a normal guy who's seen his share of death and tragedy...I hope you come to the right choice in your path...
"Aim High Or Stay Low..."
Nick L
USA
yeah, today is my day 70 now too, its good to know that we'll be dieing at the same time :D
Die already bitch!! Go finger yourself and die, if u nd help, ill fuck u to death!
Don't do it Tania. I hope you get to know Jesus like I do before time is up. Because I of what the Lord has done for me, I could never kill myself now, though I use to think about ending my life all the time. Please just try to talk to Jesus, He will not foresake you.
han
Ba-dum-pish.
It's funny how no one can click a link to see that this site is an awareness site.
You people are so fucking stupid. It's right there. The right of the screen; the shadowed button that says "Suicide isn't sexy". Click it.
i hope i m not ruining some "funny comments" marathon so i ll keep it short maybe i go unnoticed...has any1 repling here bothered to click(doh clicking) the "suicide isn t sexy" button?
Good riddance
some people will do anything for attention. What, those tits of yours aren't enough attention?!?
mmm, if this is real im in the mood to stop it. Though if its not... I don't see why you would kill yourself. (No I don't understand, I can't look into your head) I had times I wanted to kill myself, thinking how. Im not going to anymore though.. Your a stunning looking girl and replying to this... makes me feel abit like a idiot. Seeking out help for this sucks right, yes it does. Get it... set yourself over it.. and get it
x
Stupid girl. If u want to kill yourself do it but dont make a fake page where other people think suicide is "cool" and do it too.
she wont kill herself she is too beautiful to do it
ok, some of your thoughts may have a point and may make you think that life sucks. But think positevely, life has also many good stuff!
attention whore.. i relly hope you do something that matters soon and not protending that you should play a suicide whore in all of your movies
to be honest I dont think that you will comit suicide, its just a nice try to make people think about it and what consicvenses it brings your fellow man. its just a perment soloution to a problem in life. And its not you that suffers from it, its your friends. What do you think the familiy and friends is gonna do when they find you dead from comiting suicide? Its a cowards solotion. but still, i admire that you changed many teen minds about suicide, realy great job there. I hope you dont kill yourself, the world have much more to offer then you have experienced.
Aw man, I thought this was going somewhere. I guess I was looking for more depth, intropsection..whatever. As someone who a year ago had a major nervous breakdown and seriously was thinking about ending it all, it seems like no one would be able to write about gonig that way without truly knowing what it feels like to find no purpose, no reason, or use for oneself in this world. It must be hard to "make up" all that without being there, or an awesome writer/artist in tune with their feelings.
Don't get me wrong, I'll keep reading. It's just not what I was expecting.
You know the best thing about this blog is actually that you made the Button which explains everything VERY small and as a result of that reading peoples reactions.
I mean some REALLY seem to have thought a whole lot about what to write down to stop you from "killing yourself".
Just some advice to everybody who thinks she IS going to kill herself: Call the belgian police, they have to visit her and let her face a psychologist, might be some funny side effect :)
hurmmm....just kill ur self, why 90 days??? if u wanna kill ur self just do it and no need to wait untill 90 days. are u sure if u kill urself u will go to heaven??myb u are going to hell, hahahhahah
The movie was awesome hun, WTG! As for the killing yourself thing... well I don't see why you'd want to but w/e, artist's work is generally more appreciated once they're dead... like Van Gough (I thinks that's how you speel his name) and Curt Cobain (agin... my spelling prolly sux). Keep doin what you're doin, I'll be checking your site until day 1 is done
Suicidarse no es bueno y menos para alguien tan joven y que le queda tanto por vivir... seguro que si vivieses en España serias mas feliz, por el clima tal vez...
I think its funny people actually think your serious. Your such and attention whore. So burn in hell
Its so funny to see all the fuckin horny idiots on here. SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES!!! Lol.
Anyway shes just an attention whore. She's right about one thing though, if she kills herself it won't make any difference in the world and everyone who discovered he on youtube will forget about her within a week, tops.
I'll let all the other people say you shouldn't kill yourself, but in reality, no one would give a fuck.
I think you're making a big mistake by choosing to live. People like you who use the Internet as a tool of vanity really should die. By going back on your promise, what example are you setting for all the rest of the would-be attention whores? They're going to think that it's perfectly fine to ignore the promises they make.
I think you know the right thing to do. (Off yourself)
Hahaha oh man you had me there for a sec i was so worried you werent gonna do it, phew :D
Do it.
You're a self centered bitch.
You're a disgrace to everyone who has actually felt down on themselves and ended their lives. They did it for reasons other than getting attention you narcissistic asshole.
I honestly wouldn't give a shit if you did.
I don't see why anyone else would else.
Best of luck though, in killing yourself, of course.
Oh please, this was nothing but an attention whore stunt for some needy bitch who got turned down for modelling or some shit because she looks exactly the same as every OTHER shallow ass barbie wana-be.
i was rooting for the suicide. Way to waste our time.
Baby, you don't really have to write a suicide blog just to hear everyone say how pretty you are.
You have something missing in your life, Jesus, Open your mind and read the gospel. Then you will see how musch you are loved. God Bless you. pop
If you are truly going to committ suicide why make such a public spectacle of it?
Suicide is one of the most selfish things a person could do. You're just like every other selfish Amercian... Instead of using your knowledge and talents to save people, you're going to kill yourself.
...You disappoint me...
Hey, no need to ask how you are doing.
Well "life sucks". perhaps it does, there is alot of people in the world who see life as pointless.
Perhaps life has become boring for you? Or life doesn't give you anything to make you feel alive and signifficant.
Perhaps there is a way for you to change life. Have you ever thought of finding someone or something you can truly bless and make a difference to.
Insead of using energy to write this blog why not put that energy into putting a smile on the face of those who TRULY have somthing to despair about.
There are millions of people who need even the smallest act of kindness.
Ok here's a challenge for you. Why not ditch this site, use the remaining days to make as big a difference to those who are in need as you can, befriend those who have no friends, feed the hungry, clothe the poor, comfort the broken hearted.
lol, Did somebody not get enough hugs as a child...$100.00 says your chicken shit....prove me wrong either way you aint gonna get shit hahaha Burn you emo bitch!
Kind regards
JWSA
a dude who follows thru with his promises
you could always join one of the internet suecide kults.. o.O :>
I think tap dancing would be a much more productive way of anti-suicide than this. I was getting all emo after reading some of these posts, but then I find out that it's all fake! Seriously, tap dancing. Do a video of it, and say "Bust a move! Get off that bum and tap dance y'all! This is the reason for living!"
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