Monday, February 25, 2008

71 days left...

You know how it's strange that when you think about a certain something long and hard enough, you start seeing clues and references to it everywhere? I have the exact same thing with the whole suicide deal. I swear that every single day I see or hear someone speaking out against suicide or referring to it as this unspeakable act of heresy.

Today I walked by the train tracks where a 14 year old kid had committed suicide exactly one year ago. There were flowers and poems scattered on the floor, some swept away by the wind, some trampled by other people. There was a church's flyer there too, which stated plain and simple that Eric (the boy) would not be allowed to enter the gates of heaven due to his blasphemous act.

Maybe I'll just kill myself with my little sister's crayons when I finally do it, make it look like she killed me; then I'll get to go to heaven and she'll take the fall. Punked! :p

Seriously though, as I was saying, if there is a God - which personally I highly doubt - he is obviously trying to rub it in, but I'll be glad to give him the finger in 72 days. Heaven is overrated anyways, and hell can't possibly be 'much' worse than my life.

24 comments:

Unknown said...

can i come and save you? ur so beautiful and sweet and i dont know if this is an act or what... but god damn it whats it gonna take? do you like being called a bitch every 30 fuckin seconds? haveing fuckin basketballs thrown at your head... damn i guess if u were gone no one would listen to this psycho motherfucker...

Anonymous said...

Hey tania, nice campaign, i reccomend to make ppl feel like they should blame the goverment for making ppl suicide themslves, also include how over homework from schools can lead to suicide- email me bak at killemall14g@aol.com if u have some ideas (funny email adress, no)

Anonymous said...

Do us all a favor, leave us some porn of yourself b4 u kill yourself,plz, how r we gonna no when u did it?Ur too hot to die like dis, at least lets fuck

Anonymous said...

you dont have to do this i think your boy friend is very stupid and he dont gives you no attention thats why you are like that so pls change your mind he are in the world for live

Anonymous said...

Crayons suicide, lol! we could make some bodypainting and then, rub our bodies untill thei can't breath. So close to heaven.

Today's suicide song:

- Smashing Pumpkins: Bodies (you can find a curious video in ytb with this song and Stephen King Carrie movie)

Coloured kisses lady,

Sincerely Yours,

40.001 Admirer,

NoReplyBox

duststorm said...

Don't kill her self just live badass right when it get close to your 90 day then someone would kill you... That way it be there bad not yours. :P

Anonymous said...

DO NOT DO IT, instead, try to find the meaning of life from Buddhism. Someone will laugh that I wrote this, but you might not see everything,yet.
Very much of everything in this World is illusion, don't let it scare you away.
Look into further and wider perspective of life. Try to See Through the dark clown (negative surrounding).

Anonymous said...

omg, kill yourself already, 90 days it's a lot of shit to read.

here is a song for you.

Matate tete
Que te mates tete
Te digo que te mates que te mates tete.

Anonymous said...

ATHENE - THE GREATEST PALADIN IN THE WORLD, YOUR BITCH IS GONNA KILL HERSELF WITH NO SS UP ZOMFG SHES GONNA WIPE THE TEAM!!!!!

Anonymous said...

maybe you should take those instances as a sign, sign from God or whoever. For there is much more to life than you apparently think or have felt throughout your short life. What has made your life so bad? Is there no way to change the aspects of your life you do not like? I'll personally tell you that there are. Everyone in life goes through some hard times, some depression, some strife. Some cannot seem to find or want to find a way out, but many can. all it takes is optimism and love, for love is one thing none can live without. And i'm not talking just about romantic love, but love for a friend, for a child, for someone who needs your help, needs your guidence, needs your love. I hope and pray you come to realize that, cause there are so many ways and things in this world that can show you why you are here. you just need to open your eyes...

Anonymous said...

I'm not fucking rezing you.

Anonymous said...

There is a God and if you believe in him and that jesus died for you and rose again you will go to heaven. If you accept His forgiveness it doesn't matter what you do he will love you and you will go to heaven.

Anonymous said...

You are hot.

Anonymous said...

why all the dramatics. who are you kidding. if you were going to kill your self you would have tried already. their are too many people in the world already so who gives a shit if you kill your self. im shure you would make more of a differance in the world if you maybe didnt kill your self and tried volounteering somwhere, or just helping people in some way. your obviously creative. but this whole thing your doing is just another way for you to get attention that you think you deserve. you dont deserve anything. you have to work for it and this whole thing means your just an attention whore. so how bout you start fucking realy dorky guys who would never get a girl as hot as you before you kick the bucket. (or kick your own bucket, hahaha) just hang out at a magic card convention. lol. but i think your full of shit. i duno prove me wrong do it right now. i dont know if their is a god and quite frankly i dont think anyone knows, but hell sounds realy lame so why would you knowingly try to go there. your an idiot and the world isnt going to miss you. just like their not going to miss annyone that long....have fun

Anonymous said...

spill canvas - self conclusion... that song was made for u

Anonymous said...

Seriously though, as I was saying, if there is a God - which personally I highly doubt - he is obviously trying to rub it in, but I'll be glad to give him the finger in 72 days. Heaven is overrated anyways, and hell can't possibly be 'much' worse than my life.

Ah, but that's where you are wrong dear friend.

Hell is a place where Satan will torture you with his barbed Tallywhacker in his rape rooms forever, whilst you have to listen to Britney Spears and Milli Vanilli. For ever. That's like, a really really long time.

Repent! Become a True Christian and become Saved today! Money back guaranteed!

Unknown said...

Ya know, many of the stuff you say it's quite right.
I've thought about suicide a lot of times, a lot of different times.
The truth is that life isn't the way it's suppose to be to who fights for it.
Nowadays I see a lot of people just taking the profit of something.
What I usually do to abstract myself from this world is just playing my guitar, trying not to think about what is still to come, trying to enjoy every minute of my life in the way that I like.
Don't get yourself influenced (it's quite easy to say but to practice it's not), don't think about what everyone says to you about suicide, or what they say about your body or the way the make you feel about it.
Ignore those stupid comments, raise your head and fight for what you believe.
You think you don't believe in anything, i'm sorry but you're wrong, fight to believe in something.
Do something!
But don't let yourself go...
Sincerely

Cloud

Anonymous said...

Hmmm..
To be honest i dont think u'll kill yourself.

Checking the website, it's have a nice layout, and making a blog just for tell everyone u'll kill yourself in 90 days will only makes the blog gettin more and more attention, and so popular.
Think u aim at more than a mere suicide.

For statement, whoever want to suicide it just do it.
And u dont have the reason for kill yourself, i think u only want that more and more ppl pay attention to u and the blog itself.
In the end we will see u on TV, speaking that all the attention to u and the blog made the reason to live and not commit suicide.
Your 30 seconds of popularity.

I think u're laughin at all those ppl that says "pls, dont commit suicide!!!", because u know u wont do, but the game is just that, seeing the ppl reaction on this funny thing. Like a candid camera.

I seen even what u said to your professor when he told u that he wanted u to leave his lessons, and u threaten him that u could kill urself for his decision, to make him not remove u from lessons.

This was just the confirmation that u need lessons for graduate, not for suicide.
U dont have suicide feelings, 'cause who have suicide feelings dont speak much about them, but u do many times, to put enphasis on it.


I blame more the ppl here that still believe u'll commit suicide, or even those that just says u need to die.

And btw, no one here in this blog will ever know if u committed suicide or not. u'll probably close the blog after that day..

I say, FAKE 100%!!!

And if u want to reply to "this" examination, do it freely (but dont think u'll do, the show must go on!!).

Anonymous said...

About me: 21years,male,Germany
I hope my english is good enough!

I have the same opinion like the other one here! If someone wants to kill himself he just do it! No Diary or anything!Maby a "Goddbye-letter" But nothing else! Otherwise if you really want to do that i would say you are stupid! Sorry but thats my opinion! You are 25 years old and act like a teenager! You are a beautiful girl and have a lot to learn about life! Good things,bad things,love,hate ... By the way you should also think about others! Your diary could be an "inspiration" for young boys and girls who "want to die" because they are unhappily in love or something! Some of them could follow you because they don't think twice. I hope you'll get it!

The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it!

Anonymous said...

hey...i don't know why you are so depres but i think that are no reason to kill yourself..i'm an italian boy and for a mistake i see your campaign..i've walked in a black road for 3 years..i tempted to kill my self with a knife and a girl saved me..when i saw u i think it was a joke but now i don't know..please if it is a trick,stop!if it is not a trick please please please don't kill yuorself..u have a lot of good reason to live..please..

Anonymous said...

Wow you guys who really think this is real and that she really dates Athene and all this stuff are funny. And shes NOT going to kill herself you dolts.

http://ipower.movielol.org/suicide.php

Anonymous said...

I agree with you Tania. If there is a god in the cosmos, then I don't think it's YHVH.

Yudhu said...

Hey, Just ask yourself before doing anything stupid. For what you are supposed to do it? Seems no purpose!!! right?
So dear, it may not seem, but still may be there...
So why ain't to find purpose? Trust me, if you will ask yourself that you will ever be able to die, deep down you will get the answer immediately, NO!!!
You even can't imagine of your non existance, can't imagine that you are no more there. Even if you imagine of your been dead, you are there somewhere near.
And you should be clear, if you can't try to find the purpose of life right from now, not a garuntee of being able to do it after death.
So, you are welcome to death, but first see the life to its end, and when it comes from your inner being that there is nothing you don't know, you can go for the next...

Anonymous said...

omg go head and lee roy jenkins it i dont care.... ur walking back cuz i am not rezzing...lol
wow dont belive this shit its a way to get puplicity and its pathetic